There’s so much about your finances to talk about when you are newlywed, recently moved in together, or just dating. Some couples experience anxiety, shame and even conflict with this topic, but these conversations are a must. These talks may not be pretty and might not feel great at first, but with an open heart and an open mind, the better it will be for your relationship.
As a new couple living together, one of the first money decisions is on how expenses will be paid. Maybe some expenses are going to be shared like rent, utilities and groceries. Maybe individual expenses like your car payments would be on each. Or maybe all expenses that have to be paid will be paid from a shared bank account. Or perhaps you can find other ways on how bills will be handled.
Another big decision in terms of finances for new couples is whether to contribute 100% of their income to paying bills, the same percentage of what each makes, or to come up with a way that feels fair to both. For example: Your combined annual income is $100,000. One of you makes $40,000 and the other one makes $60,000. This means one will contribute 40% of the shared expenses, and the other one will contribute 60%.
In other words, if the shared expenses are say $3,000 a month, the one making $40,000 will contribute 40% or $1,200 a month. The one making $60,000 will contribute 60% or $1,800 a month.
Remember you are now on the same team working together towards the same goals, and that managing your money together will be a process. Avoiding these conversations are more likely to ruin the relationship according to marriage counselors.
Should the money conversation start when dating? Absolutely yes!! Although this may feel uncomfortable and wrong, talking about money is better for your relationship.
You want to know each other; your values, goals and beliefs, including each other’s money beliefs and habits. You want to start lightly and as the relationship progresses, you can ask more important questions.
If you find yourselves disrespecting or ignoring each other’s opinions on this subject, know this is a red flag. Disrespect should be a deal breaker in every relationship.
You can discuss what are needs and what are wants and how these will be paid; shared or by each of you. There’s a lot of emotion that goes with these conversations so start this discussion slooowly!. Keep in mind that the more and the sooner you talk about it, the better for your relationship and your financial wellbeing.
Knowing how to manage your money will make these conversations easier. If you want to learn how to manage your finances, remember our free workshops! Sign-up now!
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